How Men Can Support Survivors and Prevent Assault
Men play an essential role in creating a safer society by becoming allies in the fight against sexual violence. Much of the focus on preventing assault has historically been on educating women about personal safety, but it's equally important to encourage men to adopt active roles in challenging harmful behaviours and supporting survivors.
“The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.”
Allyship begins with understanding the importance of consent and educating oneself about the impacts of sexual violence. By doing so, men can cultivate a greater awareness of how their actions and language can either contribute to or detract from a respectful and safe environment.
Setting the Standard - Standing Up to Harmful Behavior
As allies, men can play a crucial role in challenging the behaviors of those around them. This can mean intervening when a friend makes an inappropriate comment, laughs at a sexist joke, or dismisses someone’s boundaries as a joke.
“When a friend made a crude comment about a girl we knew, I realized it was on me to step up,” shares David, a peer who’s working to become a better ally. “At first, I felt awkward calling it out, but I remembered that it was even more uncomfortable for her to be treated that way. When I spoke up, it actually encouraged my other friends to think twice about what we say.”
Being a male ally doesn’t mean confrontation is always necessary. Often, a calm, straightforward response—such as “Hey, that’s not cool,” or “Let’s keep it respectful”—can subtly shift the tone of a conversation. When allies step up in this way, they create a ripple effect, encouraging respect within their social circles and helping prevent situations that could lead to assault.
Men can also act as powerful bystanders, playing an active role in preventing sexual violence in social settings. This might mean keeping an eye on friends at a party, intervening if someone seems uncomfortable, or helping someone get out of a potentially unsafe situation. Bystander intervention isn’t about being a “hero”; it’s about contributing to a culture of safety and accountability.
The 3 D’s of Bystander Intervention: Direct, Distract, Delegate
Direct: Speak up if you see inappropriate behavior. For example, calmly address the individual involved, saying, “That behavior isn’t okay.”
Distract: Create a diversion to shift focus and break up the situation. This could be as simple as starting a conversation or asking one of the people involved to come help you with something.
Delegate: If it feels unsafe to intervene, ask others for support. This could mean bringing friends into the situation or even notifying someone in a position of authority.
Advocacy and Education to Build a Safer Society
Male allies have a unique position to advocate for change within their institutions and communities. This could mean promoting consent education, advocating for supportive resources on campuses, or pushing for policies that protect survivors. Even modeling respectful behavior and consent-based interactions can create a significant impact, setting an example for others.
By stepping into the role of an ally, men can help dismantle the stigma surrounding sexual violence, creating a more empathetic and supportive society. It’s a reminder that allyship is not about having all the answers; it’s about being willing to learn, listen, and act with respect.
“Allyship is not a label; it’s a lifelong commitment.”
Ultimately, being a male ally means dedicating oneself to a culture of respect and accountability. Men have the power to create safer environments, promote understanding, and support survivors on their healing journeys. By standing up, speaking out, and supporting survivors, male allies play a crucial role in making the world a safer, more respectful place for everyone.
